PARENTING TIPS

(1) COMMUNICATION
Communication is the key to effective parenting. It requires constant effort, but the rewards are worth the struggle. When you communicate your concerns with respect and love, a better relationship develops between you and your child and this helps the child develop into a more responsible, independent person.  Let your child know that what he or she has to say is important to you and set aside time to listen to him daily. Look and act interested, avoid distractions and listen without interrupting. Show respect for your child's opinions and feelings.

PARENTING TIPS: It takes two to communicate.

 1. LISTEN. Position yourself so that your face is at your child's eye level. Look at your child when he or she speaks. Give your child your full attention.
2. REFLECT. Repeat what your child has said to be sure you understand. This lets your child know you really heard and he or she will feel encouraged to elaborate and explain.
3. SHARE YOUR OWN VIEWS. Don't criticize or lecture, but let your own thoughts and feeling on the subject be known. Encourage your child to share his or her opinions.
4. DISCUSS. Talk about the subject and if a problem exists, work together for a solution. Talk about choices and assist your child in making decisions.

(2) SELF-ESTEEM, THE KEY TO SUCCESS
Self-esteem is a person's assessment of his or her worth. People with high self-esteem are proud of their accomplishments, able to assume responsibility, tolerant of frustrations, enthusiastic about new challenges, and able to show a broad range of emotions. Children who feel good about themselves tend to do well both in and out of school. You can help your child develop healthy self-esteem by being supportive, taking time to listen, and sharing special one-on-one moments together.

PARENTING TIPS:

1. Listen to your child's thoughts and ideas.
2. Be considerate of your child's feelings.
3. Accept your child's opinions when trying to reach a family decision.
4. Support your child's efforts to learn new things.
5. Support your child's efforts to accomplish tasks and reach goals.
6. Recognize your child's strengths, accomplishments and contributions to the       family.
7. Express appreciation when your child is helpful or thoughtful.

(3) PARENTS + TEACHERS = SUCCESS
When parents and teachers work together, the child has an even better chance of learning. Parents can become actively involved in their child's education by regularly attending conferences with their child's teacher, by being active PTA members, by volunteering at school and by sharing their cultural heritage. In addition, parents can take part in the local school planning process and attend school board meetings.  For your child's health and safety, and to help your child get the most out of school,  keep a file for each child that includes medical records, pictures, fingerprints, report cards and other pertinent information. In addition to the teachers and principal, know the school's support staff, office staff, school nurse, librarian and other specialists.

PARENTING TIPS:  Here are some ways to help your child with homework.

1. Set aside a regular time and place for doing homework.
2. Be alert to problems and contact the teacher if you and your child do not         understand the assignment.
3. Test your child on spelling words, multiplication tables, and other work that requires memorization.
4. Review school assignments after they have been returned to your child.
5. Praise your child for all accomplishments.
6. Your child should work independently, but with parental support and encouragement.

(4) FAMILY IS IMPORTANT
Most children learn about values, about getting along with other people, about responsibility and about self-esteem within the family unit. If we treat our children with respect, they will learn to value themselves and treat others with respect. Effective parenting takes time, attention, patience and strength. Most of all it takes love. The way family members treat each other greatly influences a child's emotional health and development. Each family member is a unique human being who needs to be understood and appreciated.

PARENTING TIPS:

 Everyone benefits when the family does things together. Here's a list of free or inexpensive things to do that can help to bring your family closer together.

1. Read a book together. Older children can take turns with the reading too.
2. Exercise. Walk, run, ride your bikes or play a sport together.
3. Join forces to rake the yard, wash the car or make fun out of some other family chore.
4. Visit a museum, zoo or craft exhibit together.
5. Play a board game.
6. Cook something special together.
7. Take a hike or go on a picnic together.

(5) RESPONSIBILITY AND SELF-DISCIPLINE
All children should have jobs to do at home. To encourage your child to be responsible, you can discuss what needs to be done and assign tasks (appropriate to the child's abilities). Set time limits for completion of jobs and make sure they are finished. Praise your children for completed tasks. It helps develop healthy self-esteem. When children understand and agree to limits, they are learning to set their own. This is the start of self-discipline. Encourage this by beginning discipline early and by allowing your child to share in decision-making. As he or she grows older, add more responsibility.

PARENTING TIPS:  Teaching a sense of responsibility:

1. Set a good example; treat your children as you would your friends.
2. Praise a child for accomplishments and good behavior.
3. Encourage independence and assign children reasonable responsibilities.
4. Involve children in developing family rules.
5. Be sure your children understand the rules and the consequences for unacceptable behavior.
6. Avoid criticism and nagging. Teach correct behavior without losing your sense of humor.
7. Help your child develop self-control.

(6) A POSITIVE ATTITUDE MEANS A LOT
Each child has many possibilities and parents are a key element in helping children realize as much of their potential as possible. A child who feels good about himself, who has opportunities to express himself freely, who has learned that it is all right to make mistakes, is a child who has a head start on being successful. We can enhance our children's chances by helping them develop a positive "I can do it" attitude. We can enrich their store of knowledge and experience by reading together, exploring nature, visiting museums, even by grocery shopping. We can help instill a positive attitude about school and about life, and a positive attitude is the first step to success.

PARENTING TIPS:

1. Keep your child healthy with proper diet, rest and exercise.
2. Dress your child in clothing appropriate for the weather.
3. Develop your child's self-esteem by communicating your beliefs that he or she is a special person.
4. Recognize your child as an individual and avoid comparisons with other children. Cultivate and appreciate your child's strengths.
5. Set an example by demonstrating use of skills taught in school as part of everyday living. Math is used in cooking and carpentry. Reading comprehension is necessary for information and following directions. Try to show your child that reading can be fun.

(7) HEALTH AND SAFETY ARE IMPORTANT
Parents are responsible for providing a safe home and living environment for their children.  They should ensure that their children:

        Get three balanced meals daily.
        Get a good night's sleep and plenty of exercise.
        Dress appropriately for the weather.
        Visit the doctor regularly.
        Know bicycle safety and how to cross streets safely.

Children need to know how to take care of themselves when they are home  alone. They need to know that they should check in with you or a neighbor upon arriving home, not to go to anyone else's home without permission, and not to talk to strangers.

PARENTING TIPS:  Check to make sure your children know the following:

1. Their full name, address and phone number.
2. Your name, place of work and work number.
3. How to use the phone to reach the operator or report an emergency.
4. How to carry a key securely.
5. What to do if they think they are being followed.
6. To check with you by phone or report to a neighbor at a regularly scheduled time.
7. How to answer the telephone safely when they are alone.
8. How to get out of the house in case of fire.

(8) VALUES BRING MEANING TO LIFE
The responsibility for teaching basic values is shared by the home, school, place of worship and community. When parents consciously assume their responsibility, the home stimulates effective development of attitudes and a good value system. These foster the development of character, personality and effective living skills. The examples set by parents and others have a profound influence on the kind of person a child becomes. Values are "caught as well as taught."  A good strong value system leads to the development of healthy work ethics.

PARENTING TIPS:   Some basic concepts to consider as a framework of a basic value system which have personal day-to-day application:

1. Respect for one's own worth and dignity, as well as the worth and dignity of every individual.
2. Development of trust, honesty and integrity.
3. Development of self-discipline and the ability to handle pressures.
4. Appreciation of religious and cultural differences with the understanding that differences do not mean inferiority.
5. Consideration of the rights of the group as well as of the individual
6. Ability to learn from failure and find the courage to keep trying.
7. Respect for the importance of any job and understand the importance of completing a job one has started.

(9) FRIENDSHIPS CAN ENRICH LIFE
You can help your child value friendships. Talk to your child about how he can be a friend. Provide opportunities for your child to be with other children. Encourage your child to invite his friends to join you on family outings, such as a trip to the park, the beach or the zoo. The activity need not be expensive to be fun. Your own behavior can model what makes a good friend. If you child sees you being loyal, caring and thoughtful to your friends, he will learn what it means to be a good friend.

PARENTING TIPS:  Six ways you can raise your child to be a caring person:

1. Use the power of positive example.
2. Give your children plenty of love.
3. Foster a caring atmosphere at home.
4. Give children responsible family roles.
5. Extend caring beyond the family.
6. Help your child learn to be sensitive to other people's feelings.

Building a bond of love with your child means spending time together -- including some time for just the two of you.

(10) CHOICES, CHOICES...  DECISIONS, DECISIONS...
Life is made up of opportunities and challenges. The ability to examine and handle difficult or challenging situations makes the difference in achieving success. You can help your child learn to make the most of his opportunities and challenges.

Give your child opportunities to make decisions. For example, you can give him a choice between wearing the tan shirt or the gold. Gradually increase the number and kind of decisions he is allowed to make. For instance, allow him, whenever possible, to choose which family chores will be his responsibility. The more opportunity a child has to make decisions, the better able he will be to deal with the opportunities and challenges in his life.

PARENTING TIPS:  You can help your child make the most of his opportunities and challenges and become a successful decision maker.

Steps in decision making:

1. Recognize that a decision needs to be made.
2. Gather information to help make the decision.
3. Identify the choices available and examine the potential outcomes of each.
4. Consider how each possible decision fits in with your personal values and goals.
5. Recognize your reasons for choosing certain alternatives.
6. Make a decision.

(11) MANAGE TIME TO MEET GOALS
When you set goals, you provide a road map for accomplishment. Good time management allows you to use that map effectively. Even very young children can learn to set goals. And as they get older, they can learn how to use time wisely too. Help your children learn how to set goals and manage their own time well. How you set your own goals and manage your own time provides and important example.

PARENTING TIPS:  

Steps in setting goals.

1. List your goals on paper.
2. Set goals that are attainable.
3. Plan ways to meet your goals.
4. Continue to re-evaluate your goals.

Steps in effective time management:

1. Be aware of how you spend your time each day.
2. Set priorities so you accomplish what is important.
3. Set up a long-term timetable; include strategies related to your goals.

(12) CITIZENSHIP AND COMMUNITY
As a child grows older, he becomes a part of ever larger communities. We can help our children become contributing members of the communities to which they belong. Help them learn how they fit into each segment of the community and teach them a sense of responsibility. Take time to talk about the importance of communities. Take trips to the post office, library, police and fire stations, city hall and other community resources. Become involved in community activities such as PTA and show your child how your family can be good citizens.

PARENTING TIPS:   How to help your child become a responsible citizen:

1. Set a good example by your own actions and attitudes.
2. Help your child understand the relationship between home, school and community.
3. Foster sensitivity and understanding of various ethnicities by encouraging friendships with all members of your community.
4. Participate, when possible, in community organizations and activities.
5. Discuss with your child the meaning of being an American.
6. Take your child with you when you vote. Explain the importance of voting.
7. Assist your child in getting a library card. This is one way to teach responsibility as a member of the community.

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